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# Title
1 Consultation fees
- |A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the law...Read the whole joke

2 Question and answer jokes
- |Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!Q: If you are stra...Read the whole joke

3 Actual stupid questions asked
- |The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.Now doctor, isn't it true...Read the whole joke

4 That's a real bargain
- |A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury wa...Read the whole joke

5 Rules for hunting lawyers
- |1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of attorneys with traps or ...Read the whole joke

6 Excess billing hours
- |A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to se...Read the whole joke

7 Ounces of brain for sale
- |A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professio...Read the whole joke

8 What type of tracks?
- |Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared...Read the whole joke

9 Solving a dispute
- |Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The ...Read the whole joke

10 Lawyers take everything
- |A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: "Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!" The...Read the whole joke

11 Lawyers give irrelevant information
- |Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of ...Read the whole joke

12 The devil's offer
- |The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll ...Read the whole joke

13 The bronze statues
- |A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display h...Read the whole joke

14 What and who am I?
- |A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the inters...Read the whole joke

15 There are no honest lawyers
- |A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him wha...Read the whole joke

16 Here's your fee schedule
- |A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule."Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "Yo...Read the whole joke

17 Unreasonable bill
- |A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:"Was ...Read the whole joke

18 Replacing lab rats with lawyers
- |The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats ...Read the whole joke

19 You've changed my mind
- |Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"Client: "After hearing your a...Read the whole joke

20 Some last minute requests
- |A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The...Read the whole joke

21 Get money to heaven
- |A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can?t...Read the whole joke

22 Want to go into space?
- |NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Earth.The first applic...Read the whole joke

23 Brain transplant
- |"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles."My dear woman," ...Read the whole joke

24 Lawyer's personal injury
- |A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ...Read the whole joke

25 A love for material goods
- |A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his ...Read the whole joke